NOTICE: St. Cloud office was closed effective June 1st, 2019 due to a move.

Miho Adkins now works at Birch Lake Counseling in Hackensack, MN. Please call at 320-282-1066 to schedule an appointment with Miho. Miho provides online counseling as well to continue to serve clients outside of Hackensack areas.

Please fax a HIPAA compliant release form to request clinical records.

Four County Crisis Response Team (320-253-5555 or 1800-635-8008) for Stearns, Benton, Sherburne, or Wright Counties.

Repair Our Relationship: Is it possible? Are we the only couple who is dealing with these problems?

Repair Our Relationship: Top 10 Stumbling Blocks for Couples and How to Fix these Problems.

This is an interesting study. Dr. Olson at university of Minnesota conducted a national survey of 21,501 married couples from newlyweds to retired couples to identify the top 10 common marital issues. Here is the result.

  1. We have Problems sharing leadership equality. 93%

  2. My Partner is sometimes too stubborn. 87%

  3. Having children reduced our marital satisfaction. 84%

  4. My partner is too negative or critical. 83%

  5. I wish my partner had more time and energy for recreation with me. 82%

  6. I wish my partner were more willing to share feelings. 82%

  7. I always end up feeling responsible for the problem. 81%

  8. I go out of my way to avoid conflict with my partner. 79%

  9. We have difficulty completing tasks or projects. 79%

  10. Our differences never seem to get resolved. 78%

Interestingly, the result was not obtained from only unhappy couples. It was obtained from both happy and unhappy couples. Dr. Olson said, "it is striking that a high percentage of both happy and unhappy coupe have these problems." This indicates that many married couples experience common stumblling blocks in their relationship. Dr. Gottman, who is an internationally known as a marriage therapist, said the same things that problems are not the problem the couples are experiencing, but how to deal with them.

In our practice, we usually focus on interactions between couples, and help them improve their communication and negotiation skills. We feel that many couples simply do not have skill sets to overcome their difficulties. Once they learned new skills and apply them to their relationship, their relationship dramatically improves. Even if you feel that it is impossible to fix your marriage, it is actually possible to do so with the new skill.

How to repair our relationship: click here to go to Marital Communication

Go back to Marriage Counseling Home Page from Repair Our Relationship Page