Reasons for Divorce

One out of two marriages in the United States eventually fail. People might think "Why do people get divorced?" Here are some of the reasons for divorce.

According to Olson and DeFrain (2006), there are four reasons why people get a divorce or experience an unhappy marriage.

1. Marrying with unrealistic expectations.

2. Marrying to the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

3. Marriage is, in fact, challenging for anybody.

4.Couples lack in their effort to develop relationship skills to keep their marriage strong.

Do these four reasons for divorce surprise you? They are very simple.

Karney and McNulty (2004) studied the first four years of marriage with 82 newlyweds. The findings confirmed that unrealistic expectations of their relationship predicted a decrease in the satisfaction of their marriage. Their positive expectations, however, can also be beneficial when they are capable of behaving and contributing to the expectation in their marriage.

We all have expectations and assumptions for our life and in our relationships. We tend to automatically believe what we assume to be right, is right, without question. We may learn something from our family of origin, and expect our partners to feel the same way as our family did. You have certain expectations of how birthdays should be celebrated, how money should be handled, and how kids should be raised. Your partner may have his/her own versions of these expectations, and they may be different from yours (Does it surprise you?).

Premarital education is one of the great resources for couples who are considering marriage. It gives an opportunity to learn about their relationship and their expectations of marriage.

Stanley (2001) stated that premarital education provides individuals deliberation time to learn about their relationship, helps them slow down, and provides insights that marriage as an institution matters.

Keeping a relationship healthy is a hard work. We all change over time and need to adjust to the changes by acquiring new skills to keep the relationship strong. It is, however, not impossible to learn the skills.

premarital counseling and couples coaching will help you to learn the skills and make your relationship stronger.


References

Olson, D.H., & DeFrain, J.(2006). Marriages & families: Intimacy, diversity, and strengths(5th Ed)).

Karney, B. R., & McNulty, J. K. (2004) Positive expectaions in the early years of marriage: Should couples expect the best or brace for the worst? Journal of personality and social psychology, 86(5), 729-743.

Stanley, S. M. (2001). Making a case for premarital education. Family relation, 50, 272-280.


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