NOTICE: St. Cloud office was closed effective June 1st, 2019 due to a move.

Miho Adkins now works at Birch Lake Counseling in Hackensack, MN. Please call at 320-282-1066 to schedule an appointment with Miho. Miho provides online counseling as well to continue to serve clients outside of Hackensack areas.

Please fax a HIPAA compliant release form to request clinical records.

Four County Crisis Response Team (320-253-5555 or 1800-635-8008) for Stearns, Benton, Sherburne, or Wright Counties.

Marriage Problem Advice: What Happen to Our Love, Newlyweds

Marriage problem advice for newlywed Couples. How to avoid marital conflicts and save your marriage.

In his book, "Marriages & Families," Dr. Olson states the first year or two of marriage are the most difficult time. Many couples seems to need to adjust to a new life with their partner, and marriage is a more difficult transition than most couples expected, "often because couples expect marriage to be easy and to be similar to what they have experienced with each other previously."

A study of newlyweds by Arond and Pauker which used 455 newlyweds and 75 couples who had been married for a few years to look back on their first year of marriage. The results were as follows:

  1. Approximately 50% of couples doubted their marriage would last and felt they had significant marital problems during the first year.
  2. About 40% reported that marriage is harder than they had expected and also felt that the partner had became more critical after marriage.
  3. 63% of couples reported that they had marital problems related to money.
  4. 25% had sexual problems even though 85% had engaged in sex before marriage
  5. 35% reported that relationships with single friends worsened after marriage.

Even the couples had spent significant amount of the time together before marriage faced many problems reported. One of the major reasons, Dr. Olson said, newlywed couples feel that marriage is harder than they thought was that they are typically idealistic.

The couples seems to carry love, fantasies, and myths into their marriage life in the hope that their partner will change after they got married.

Dr. Olson said, "Unfortunately, marriage neither changes people nor makes it easier for others to change them. In fact, marriage often magnifies undesirable traits. A person who is sloppy before marriage will be sloppy after marriage --- but the sloppiness will become more apparent in the closeness of marriage."

He cited the five marriage problem advice, created by Arond and Pauker, to newlywed couples to make their transition to marriage easier.

  1. Acknowledge and handle hostility in a constructive manner
  2. Tolerate imperfections and differences.
  3. Please read my favorite poem of "Promise."

  4. Separate from your families of origin.
  5. Be Committed
  6. Realize that marriage has its ups and downs.

Another way to be ready for marriage is Pre-Marriage Counseling

To make an appointment for Pre-Marriage Counseling or Marriage Counseling, Click here

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