Getting married may be THE most important decision of your life. The 100 questions before marriage are as important as the decision of getting married. While most couples don't go into marriage thinking about the "what ifs," failing to communicate about the most important topics that can ultimately lead to marital conflicts and divorce can put your marriage on shaky ground.
While it is important to be in love, after a few years of love, sometimes you have to make a conscious choice to love your partner and coax those romantic feelings back.
A few things of the 100 questions before marriage that you should discuss with your future mate to create dream marriage and save your marriage in the future:
FAITH - while you may not think it is important, your religious views can become a highly charged topic. If you are from different backgrounds, which traditions are you going to embrace, and how will you raise children?
MONEY - one of the leading causes of divorce. How do you feel about spending, debt, and saving? What are your expectations for managing money? Do you want a shared account, and how are you going to track spending?
INTIMACY - as the passion wanes, and reality kicks in, how much sexual contact do you want to maintain? Before marriage, agree to always make time for intimacy - even if it is just a quiet night in cuddling. Once your schedule fills up, you have to be intentional about it.
IN-LAWS - We've all heard the nightmares, but how do you plan on managing your in-laws? How much is too much interference, and will your spouse be willing to stand up for your desires? Can you handle some input without becoming defensive?
KIDS - how many children do you plan on having? What will you do if you have an unexpected pregnancy? What will you do if you cannot have children? How do you plan on supporting your kids? Will one parent stay at home, or will you use daycare? How are you going to prevent pregnancy until you are ready?
POLITICS - a house divided does not necessarily fall, but it helps to agree. If you don't agree on politics, then have it a standing policy that you agree to disagree. Don't discuss politics if you cannot do it without hard feelings.
LEISURE TIME - do you have separate hobbies? How does your spouse feel if you have a hobby that doesn't include him/her? How much time should you dedicate to your outside interests? What hobby can you take up with your spouse to increase your ability to share time and conversation.
DISAGREEMENTS - how do you plan on handling arguments? Do you know how to fight fair? If you have trouble communicating with each other when there are arguments now, discuss this with your pre-marriage counselor.
FUTURE VISION - where do you and your future partner see your marriage in the future? Discuss together what it is that you want to accomplish as a couple, and to give back to the world.
How are you going to achieve your goals together?
Personality-Personality is not something you can easily change. Many people are annoyed by their partner's specific characteristics that attracted them to in the beginning. Organized/disorganized, introverted/outgoing, emotional stability/impulsiveness, and etc. These things are not easily changed. If you have some concerns about your partner's personality, you may want to ask yourself "Is that something you can accept?" Getting married does not change one's personality.
When the going gets tough, you must stick together. Marriage means you have two people to work through life's difficulties together - two people become one. Even though you might hit rough spots, having a plan in place for how to handle these spots will help you avoid unhappy marriage and keep the marriage together.
Do you have any suggestions for the 100 questions before marriage? Let's create the list of the 100 questions before marriage!
Do you have one of the 100 questions that you should have asked before you married? Do you have one of the 100 questions that you want to ask your partner before marriage? Please share it.
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Your voice makes me tremble inside. And your smile is an invitation for my imagination to go wild. ~ BOAKYE YARQUAH